


Beyond Words

by barricadebastard



Series: the JML universe [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, JML Universe, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, because apparently i have nothing better to do with my time, yep im turning it into a universe and expanding on it and shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 01:32:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6932455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barricadebastard/pseuds/barricadebastard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John's father is a dick and, despite how little John cares, he still gets to him sometimes. Luckily, he has friends to hug him and wipe his tears away.</p><p>(Behind-the-scenes of Chapter 37 of Je M'Appelle Lafayette)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beyond Words

**Author's Note:**

> for Charlie, who wanted some hurt/comfort for her birthday

The sun was shining brightly outside, almost blinding in its intensity. It was early morning and so the birds had all come out to perch delicately on tree branches and chirp their little songs. The plant he had been tending to the past couple of weeks was beginning to bloom on the window sill, his turtle Ninja had appeared to be in a good mood today and the day was turning out to be great. Perfect, in fact. 

So why did John feel so down? 

He rubbed his face wearily with a hand. He had class in an hour, he had promised to meet up with a girl in his class to exchange notes and he had plans to model for Herc’s assignment. Yesterday, he would have been excited. Any other day, he would have been squirming in his seat for a chance to rub it in Alex and Lafayette’s faces that he was modelling for this assignment. He would have been eager to get to his social activism class. He would have been glad to get a chance to catch up with Martha, to find out how she was doing with her dickbag of a boyfriend. But now?

All he wanted to do was sleep.

It was unfair, John thought to himself, that someone he thought he had finally managed to break free from, could still ruin his day even when said person was actually miles away.

“John?” 

Alex was back from wherever he had disappeared from, his voice already strumming with excitement as he approached the door. On the one hand, John was always glad to see Alex, to be surrounded by his passionate nature and his intensity. On the other hand, he  _ really  _ didn’t want Alex to see him like this, broken and pathetic by a few words from a man he didn’t even care about; words that Alex would have brushed off easily if they were directed to him. And god, if that didn’t make him feel weak…

“John?” Alex repeated, sounding more uncertain as he hovered at the doorway. John didn’t look at him, continuing to stare out of the window. He knew he’d probably burst into tears if he did. 

“Hey,” he said softly. A large black bird, probably a crow, possibly a raven, pushed a smaller bird out of a tree. There was probably an analogy John could make for that, a metaphor he could use from them to describe his own situation. He was too tired to analyse it.

“You alright?” Alex asked quietly, moving to sit on the bed next to John, who managed a weak smile.

“I…” he tried to say fine, he tried to brush off his concerns but he made the mistake of glancing at Alex and saw wide, anxious eyes that, even in their concern, looked fiercely determined, like he had already decided he was going to beat up whoever it was that had upset John. 

The dam had broken. The tears that had been gathering behind his eyes for what seemed like forever began to roll down his cheeks, unstoppable now that they had finally been freed. He felt like an idiot, sitting there sobbing about everything and nothing in particular. He felt like a  _ baby.  _

Alex, to his credit, showed no surprise at seeing his tears for the first time and instead wrapped his arms around John’s frame carefully. John had no idea what he was mumbling soothingly, but he heard the occasional ‘it’s okay’ as well as shushing. He was warm and John couldn’t help but shove down the instinct to pull away and begin the ‘I’m fine’ mantra he was so fond of; he buried his face in the crook of Alex’s neck, breathing in his heady scent like a drug that calmed him more than Alex’s words ever could.

“It’s nothing,” John tried to dismiss finally, wiping his face with his sleeve roughly. “I’m just… It’s nothing, it’s not like Laf’s thing-”

“Laf having a ‘thing’,” Alex said firmly. “Doesn’t invalidate your own ‘thing’, okay?” 

John barked a short laugh. “Um, okay.”

They sat in silence. Hesitantly, John rested his hand on Alex’s sweatpant-clad thigh, rubbing circles through the material as heat radiated from the smaller boy’s skin. This was how  _ he  _ calmed himself - by pretending he had no worries and instead focusing on comforting another. Sure enough, Alex looked shaken to see John break down so suddenly, now that John had stopped crying enough to scrutinise his face. 

“You wanna talk?” Alex asked quietly. John stopped the circling motion of his thumb for a second, considering the question, before sighing.

“I… sure. Okay.” 

But he didn’t add anything, still trying to formulate the words to express everything that had happened without sounding like a whiny child. Which he was, in a way. But he didn't want to  _ sound _ like it. 

“My dad called,” he said finally. Alex gave a sympathetic grimace and his arms tightened slightly around John’s frame. “I… Well, it was the usual, to be honest. Complaining about my major. Saying I should’ve gone into law.” 

“There’s no point in going into something that doesn’t interest you,” Alex scowled. “God, you have no idea how much I wish I could punch your dad.” 

John snorted a laugh. In a way, Alex’s indignation helped him, allowing him to recognise his father’s words as unreasonable. He imagined Alex walking up to his father and hitting him with a right-hook and snorted again.

“I told you it’s silly,” John said with a small smile. “Just me being a baby, as usual.” 

“You’re not silly,” Alex said fiercely, brows screwing together into a frown that was too adorable to be anything else. “It’s natural to be bothered by a parent being a dickbag.” 

John felt his heart swell with love. Alex, who didn’t even have parents to complain about, was comforting John about his family issues. It made John feel ungrateful, more than anything, but at the same time,  he could help but appreciate how much Alex cared about his feelings that he was willing to reassure him about the stupidest things.

“Shall we call the others over? Watch a movie, eat enough junk food to last us a lifetime?” Alex suggested with a grin as he wiped a thumb over John’s cheek, catching the wayward remnants of tears that John hadn’t already scrubbed away furiously with his sleeve. 

“Sure,” John said because if there was anything he needed now, it was all his loves in the same room as him, cuddling and arguing over whether to watch another Disney movie or pretend to be adults and watch something that wasn’t animated.

* * *

 

Half an hour later, they were all crashed on the couch. Herc was propped up with his back against one arm rest, legs crossed in front of him. Alex had curled up in his lap like a kitten and John was only surprised that he hadn’t started purring from all of Herc’s soft head-scratches. Next to the two of them was Lafayette, whose long legs wouldn’t fit on the couch and thus dangled off and onto the floor, where a steadily growing pile of wrappers was being collected. At the furthest was John, head tucked in the crook of Lafayette’s neck.

This was, debatable, John’s favourite thing about their friendship; boundaries were optional. Whenever one of them were upset, they would gather together and entangle themselves until it felt like they were one being instead of four separate people. The comfort, the warmth, the  _ love _ that radiated between them was addictive and, maybe one day, John would admit that it was because he loved all three of them. But, for now, it was easy to pretend they were just friends.

“Thanks,” he said quietly, his voice almost drowned out by the soundtrack of Hercules as they watched it for the millionth time, much to Herc’s disgruntlement. Almost drowned, but not quite, as all three of them turned to look at him with warm smiles and sympathetic eyes.

They didn’t need to ask what he was thanking them for. Sometimes, love transcends beyond words.

**Author's Note:**

> why am i turning this into a universe when i have literally no time on my hands y i k e s
> 
> but yeah, i wanted to expand on other stuff that i can't fit into the actual fic?? stuff like maria and eliza's relationship, samuel seabury's abuse, adrienne and laf's friendship, maybe laf's past with their parents, etc


End file.
